As of late, I've been posting Facebook statuses prefaced with "Parenting Experience #[arbitrary number]" to add a bit of whimsy to some frustrating and embarrassing events. Some of these events include fixing a VCR after something that was not a cassette tape was placed in the tape slot, and taking care of a lost tooth in a public place.
Tonight was another one of those moments, but it was one that is difficult to describe and discuss.
Caitlin was going through her Facebook and came across the following picture:
To say this was a difficult to read would be an understatement. I was in tears after my wife read this letter to me. Yet how was this a parenting moment? My eldest daughter was still awake when Caitlin read it.
She then asked why a boy would ask for something like that. The conversation that followed was filled with tears, warnings, and comforting words. She told us she was scared, and while I'm sure that's true, I'm not sure if she could think of any other words to explain how she felt.
My wife and I told her that we know those children are with Heavenly Father and are safe now. We also told her that those children won't be having Christmas with their families. Explaining why someone would kill children was especially difficult, and I'm not sure if it was adequate. We were very direct in telling her that if something scary happens to tell mommy or daddy. When at school, look to your teacher. If necessary, hide.
Would something like this happen at her school? I certainly hope not. Does the possibility exist? Indeed it does. Will the conversation we had tonight be enough to prepare her if an emergency situation like this occurs? I doubt it, but I hope so.
Confusion clouds my mind when I hear about events such as the Sandy Hook shooting. Questions about gun control and mental health run on top of each other. Their cacophony eventually ceases and then turns to a dull throb of concern that can be somewhat ignored until something similar happens again.
A fresh coat of hatred and fear has been painted over society. Yet these powerful forces, directed properly, can bring about change that will be to the betterment of everyone. Sadly, I believe they will be weaponized to create a retaliation. Mental health issues will be guarded with a stone wall of indifference and spite. Gun control will be debated until tax funds are exhausted. Nothing will be done.
Nothing will change.
After reading an article about a
mother living with a mentally ill son, the words of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" came to mind. When Scrooge was asked to make a donation for the poor and needy, his reply was simply, "Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?" After being told there were plenty but some would rather die than live there, he retorted, "Then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population."
Later, the Ghost of Christmas Present shows Scrooge two children, Ignorance and Want. The Ghost delivers this warning regarding the twins: "This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased."
I am not sure if the book contains the following, but I recall in the Citadel production, Scrooge asks if there is not someone else to care for these children. To which the Ghost bellows, "ARE THERE NO PRISONS? ARE THERE NO WORKHOUSES?"
Ignorance is truly the path of doom. Hence, I educate my children the best I can. I try to place hope in the place of fear, and love in the place of hate. It is not an easy thing to do, but if I can do it, my children will learn to do it. My hope is that they will teach their children the same.
Merry Christmas to all, and God bless us, every one.
