I KNOW IT'S A ROCK!

For some odd reason that reminds me of a story I heard, back in seminary I think. There was a tree that was not supported properly, and it started to grow sideways. The person who owned it had to pruned it down severely in order to correct the growth. That's not right either, because when he looked back at what he had done he had a conversation with the tree in which the tree was defending the growth that he had done. The tree thought that it was become a marvelous bush, and the owner replied, "I am the gardener, and I know what is best. You are not meant to be a bush, you are meant to be a tree."

Then Dot says with a strain of unbelief, "But it's a rock!" Flick then rants, "I KNOW IT'S A ROCK! I spend a lot of time around ROCKS! You'd think I'd know a rock when I SEE one!"

The biggest thorn is the fact that I'm not all that sure of what I'm doing. I know what I want to do, but I'm not precisely sure how to do it, or if that's the right way to do it, and I don't want to screw it all up. All I want is to provide for my family. I'm not thinking about myself anymore. I'm just thinking about something that provides money, maybe not copious amounts, but enough to live. Then there's the idea of owning a home. Yikes. If we can't even provide for ourselves to the point that we can pay our bills NOW, how on earth can we even imagine to pay a mortgage! I haven't paid anything to my Canada Student Loans for over six months now, and I know that's going to hit me hard really quickly. The stupid thing is that I'm not sure if we can afford to pay out another $350 a month towards something else!

I need a new job. That's all there is to it. But the dumb thing is that I don't know what job I want to move to, and I want it to be something that I'll want to get up and do.

Okay, now I'm at an odd state. If I like my job, would that mean I would put it ahead of my family, and purposely avoid coming home because I like my job so much? I can't seem to find a happy medium here!

I would like to expand upon my acting, because Caitlin and I just finished some classes that we've been taking for the past few weeks, and I'd like to build upon that. I did learn a substantial amount, and by the end I was told that I just need to get to an audition and I would have a job. I'd like to see where that goes, because I'm obviously getting nowhere with Engineering. I also have a notion to take a PLC class in the fall, but I would have to make $1500 appear out of thin air for that to happen. Hmmm... Maybe we can do some kind of Rowan Atkinson thing.

On a happier note, the other day we went for a family bike ride. Caitlin finally has here bike from the Tolley's (they had a bike that mom Tolley wasn't using), and we also got a second-hand bike trailer from Eric and Kallie. Third-hand I suppose, since they got it from the Stouts. I also took Rini out my myself earlier on this week to get her a helmet, which she hates to wear of course. On Monday, we plan to do a trek out to Beaumont, something that I figure will take about an hour, seeing it took me 45 minutes on my own.

On 21 June 2008, I had a bit of a startling dream that I felt I had to write down. I wrote down as many of the details that we present in my mind, essentially working backwords until I was dry on images. Then later on I remembered that Terry McAlister had that weird ability to control the focal point of his lens, and could thereby look through perscription glasses, no matter the perscription. Something that can be handy if anything should happen to the character who fits that perscription, since the glasses have an ability that the main character will need. Something for another book, and I did enjoy writing back in November, and I plan to do it again this year.